Never Again
when, with crash and curse, I threw
my high spiked heels into the trash
and screamed in pain--my knees
so sore I thought they're maimed--
No! Never! Not Again!
Since then, but for one rash episode
when I found a shoe so sleek,
all blue and white, with oval open toe--
oh, you don't need to know--
that I forgot the woe my knees would feel
no longer up to four inch heels.
Not since that day have I
succumbed to
fashion's plot
that makes
us seek
the sleek
seductive
four inch
spiked
high
heel
shoe
Susan Heldt Davis
Susan,
ReplyDeleteThis is great- its fun and lyrical -
and love how it funnels down into that horrible heel- well done!
I really like the title- its so serious, and what follows is not at all expected, but all the more fun! Thx for sharing!
Hi Susan,
ReplyDelete"Fun" poem -- I can relate to your pain and declaration of "Never Again".
I have loved, loved, loved concrete poems over time, but my opinion about them has changed. Now I would say I have very mixed feelings about them. They are so much fun to write. I have loved making the shape, but upon reflection I have found that the shape has distracted me from writing the poem and I should have either been really drawing/painting or writing a poem because I have relied too completely on the shape to do the heavy lifting of the poem. This is true for me no matter how really good or cute or wonderful my type in a shape has been. Bottom line for me: I've generally stopped writing concrete poems because my poems are better without a (frankly) slightly weird typed shape. I have ultimately come to feel the shapes are distracting for writing as well as for reading. So that's my opinion and take what you can use and throw the rest away.
Now having written that -- your spike heel is very cute. :O)
I would however, challenge you to write this poem again without the shape and see if it is stronger.
One little thing about the tense in this line: "so sore I thought they're maimed-". It should be "they were" and I don't know if "they're" the contraction for it or not. It seems like the contraction for "they are". I tried to find out for you, but even after googling my little fingers to the bone, I didn't have any success in finding the contraction for "they were". I just suggest you spell it out: "they were".
Hope this helps. Again, fun poem and thank you for sharing it.
~Suze
Thanks for the comments. Suze, I agree generally about form and poems. (In fact, I did try this one looking like a high heel shoe from the side but that was decidedly too much). In this case, I hoped the form would add to the whimsy though I know I've had to break lines in odd places.
ReplyDeleteThis is loads of fun...in both form and subject. I can certainly relate!!
ReplyDeleteI love the "fashion's plot", "seek/the sleek".
My only neg- is the line "No! Never! Not Again!"...no and never are strong but the not again kind of loosens the resolve.
That said, hugely enjoyable read. Thanks!
Corrina
:)