You asked me why I hadn’t answered your phone call
the night John Waller was attacked outside the local
but I couldn’t answer because
I was too busy watching them
cut you down from the tree.
This piece is really intriguing- small suggestion-I don't think you need the "but", before "I couldn't answer..."
I do want a little more. Just a little. I'm having trouble getting grounded- who is John Waller? What is his connection to the narrator and the person to whom the narrator is speaking? Was someone actually cut down from a tree or is this a metaphor- if its a metaphor, I don't understand what it is meant to represent- It's tight in a way that reflects your talent for writing to the bone, but this time, I am having trouble putting myself into the scene- I feel like a need a little more detail. Not much more, though. Thx, amiga!
Hi Corrine,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very intriguing poem. Ultimately I'm curious about who John Waller and Nigel are (were?). Public or private figures? I want to know more about this violent place where people are attacked and cut from trees. Does this happen randomly, only once? Why does the cutting from the tree seem out of place? The narrator seems to feel blasé about these events. Why? Relationship? What is the time frame? Who was involved here? Local or international repercussions? So you see I have lots of questions and I want to know when, why, who and if I should care. :O)
Someone being cut from a tree is an amazingly very strong and provocative image.
Thank you for sharing your intriguing poem.
Hope this helps.
~Suze
Corrina,
ReplyDeleteThis piece is really intriguing- small suggestion-I don't think you need the "but", before "I couldn't answer..."
I do want a little more. Just a little. I'm having trouble getting grounded- who is John Waller? What is his connection to the narrator and the person to whom the narrator is speaking? Was someone actually cut down from a tree or is this a metaphor- if its a metaphor, I don't understand what it is meant to represent-
It's tight in a way that reflects your talent for writing to the bone, but this time, I am having trouble putting myself into the scene- I feel like a need a little more detail. Not much more, though.
Thx, amiga!