OUT OF STORAGE
You opened all the doors
of the old warehouse on
Bleeker Street and
the sky rushed out
pink,
bricked in
so long
while you hung out
smoking the night.
You opened all the windows,
dropping our wet laundry
onto the cars
waiting to park,
beaten denim flags
waving
so long.
of the old warehouse on
Bleeker Street and
the sky rushed out
pink,
bricked in
so long
while you hung out
smoking the night.
You opened all the windows,
dropping our wet laundry
onto the cars
waiting to park,
beaten denim flags
waving
so long.
Hi Rose,
ReplyDeleteI like the hopefulness of this poem. Given the "denim flags" I'm thinking this is a reclaiming of a relationship from youth. I like the human emotion you have captured here, especially the relief; I like the double meaning of "so long". I like your economy of words -- each doing the work of a novel's chapter. I always like the personification of your images: "sky rushed out/pink,/bricked in/so long/", "smoking the night". Wonderful poem.
Thank you for sharing and hope this helps,
~Suze
I adore the imagery, i'm just not sure I get the message. I too like the leaness of your words.
ReplyDeleteIt's intriguing and I want to re-read again and again.
Thanks for sharing :)
Corrina
Hi Rose,
ReplyDeleteI love how evocative this piece is.
There is a palpable sense of release- which is set up nicely in the title.
I find "The sky rushed out" so intriguing
I like "while you hung out" juxtaposed against the image of laundry hanging and being dropped-
I'm not quite sure I understand a few spots-
why the sky was inside- unless it was a dark sky- it seems whatever was inside was trapped, unhappily or stiflingly so- so why pink?-,
Why is "our wet laundry" being dropped on cars below-( the dropping of laundry conveys a sense of a dispute- but then I would imagine it would "my laundry" that the you in the poem would be dropping, not "our laundry"
Still, I can feel the sense of release, very powerfully so! Nice!
Thx for sharing.
Rose,
ReplyDeleteThis poem seems so inside-out with the pink sky escaping from the warehouse and the "you" smoking the night. When I first read that first so long, I figured, "you" had been smoking a long time, but after the ending, I thought maybe he'd been saying good bye to the night as he smoked it. Lots of possibilities. Intriguing. Similarly at the end, the denim flags could be waving good bye or waving a long time, after all the cars are waiting a while. What this poem does so beautifully is open new ways to think of the world, from the bricked in pink sky to the denim flags. Nice job.
Rose,
ReplyDeleteThis poem seems so inside-out with the pink sky escaping from the warehouse and the "you" smoking the night. When I first read that first so long, I figured, "you" had been smoking a long time, but after the ending, I thought maybe he'd been saying good bye to the night as he smoked it. Lots of possibilities. Intriguing. Similarly at the end, the denim flags could be waving good bye or waving a long time, after all the cars are waiting a while. What this poem does so beautifully is open new ways to think of the world, from the bricked in pink sky to the denim flags. Nice job.